What you see is what you get

     Out of the last several pieces of literature read, "Things Fall Apart" by Chinua Achehe was one that struck me immensely. Throughout the entire piece, I felt myself struggling to comprehend, analyze, and empathize the main character Okonkwo and the many and drastic life decisions he made throughout the story. As a Westerner, there was so much conflict constantly racing through my mind. As a Christian woman, the conflict was intensified. To me, the hardest thing to find is a solid, loving husband who will sacrifice whatever it maybe for his family (except for his faith). At times, well, the majority of the time, I was appalled at Okonkwo's decisions as a husband, father, provider, and leader. Of course I am aware of the difference in culture but this did not stop me from questioning the brutality of man and whether or not one of us is wrong or right in our beliefs and actions. 

     Throughout this piece, Achebe promotes the contrast of several different themes: culture vs. colonialism and masculinity vs. femininity. Once the British men arrive, it is obvious that their culture varies greatly from that of Okonkwo's tribe. For instance, these white men come to colonize and bring Christianity to the African people as a part of their desire to grow and outdo the competing countries around the world. Okonkwo's tribe at first resists and then begins to allow the change to occur as some native find comfort and understanding in this new way of life while others resent their natural culture being threatened by the invasion of British men. 

     When it come sot masculinity and femininity, the difference in position and treatment makes it beyond obvious how conflicting and vital it is for the audience to take notice of the lack of similarities between the men and female of Oknonkwo's tribe. Men are obviously held to a higher standard and therefore failure as a leader leads brings automatic failure to the family. I would like to say that's common nowadays but in American culture, many young men have been slacking and it's almost expected of them to grow up slowly and enjoy their time doing as they please without no real major commitments being made necessary. To put it simply, there's nothing cute about a guy still living with his parents. Especially a guy with no job. When these types of men finally do move out and marry, it seems as though many don't' go into marriage with the expectation to sacrifice out of love for their wife and kids. Instead, affairs and more than that, divorce, rear their ugly heads and although common, does bring a bit of shame on the family. But with divorce, I feel that people sweep it under the rug instead of reminding people that marriage is hard and when you marry, you're marrying a sinner which is someone is going to "fail you" countless times. In actuality, I do appreciate the honor and respect Okonkwo's tribe demands and seek after to a certain extent. This type of masculinity is bold and a family can sleep at night knowing they have a provider who is willing to work to support his family. To me, that's a big deal and a major comfort. 

     One final connection I made was the relationship between Okonkwo and his play son Ikemefuna. Such a dynamic and close yet distant enough relationship that a father could kill his "son" represents American society today in the area I would like to call blended families. Step children, step parents, and step siblings are beyond common now and one can even see this structure of a relationship between the family and Nwoye's brotherly love for Ikemefuna. Despite his acceptance into the family, when the Oracle speaks of Ikemefuna having to die, Okonkwo takes it on himself to have the boy executed despite raising the boy as his one and not as a slave. This is not a Cinderella story for Ikemefuna where he is brought into the grasp of wicked stepparents but instead, nurtured and respected. I wonder whether there will always be a level of intimacy unreachable by step parents between them and their step children. With Okonkwo, it seemed that way.

Barbie Girl in a Middle Class World

  When you mix the works of Norwegian writer Henrik Ibsen with that of William Butler Yeats from Ireland, one experiences such major style change. Each man had a point to prove and most definitely went about it in their own unique manner. Each author represents a common and substantial social dilemma that the author believed to bring atrocities into society and future regret if not dealt with immediately. For me, I relate the most with Ibsen's character.

     In Ibsen's "A Doll's House," readers can see a vivid display of middle class and some of its unchanging habits despite the different era. of time. So often, the obsessions with middle class possessions such as status, money, comfortability, community, etc.. make it difficult for this vicious cycle of middle class yearnings to subside. Too often, the middle class seem to consider themselves as moderate in there status, moderate in income, moderate in their comfort, and moderate concerning the level and quality of community. Although the middle class mindset may appear humble, their covetous nature seems never fulfilled. There is enough to get by but there is never quite enough to live fully satisfied because all around, there are people wanting new things are informing us of the new things we should be desiring. We also discussed the superficiality and child-centered culture that comes with middle class living. Personally, I feel that are obsession with our children has gone too far in many cases. Yes, children need to be loved and provided for in stable environments as possible as often but teaching our children entitlement rather than humility in most cases is a killer. Our children can learn to be thankful and grateful rather than selfishly thinking about themselves alone. I know some of my wording here is extreme but I seriously think it's possible to teach a child the importance in seeing others and loving others as equals to themselves (which is challenging for any person!) so that they might grow up into giving young men and women who don't see themselves above any one else.

     According to Nicholas Day in his article "No Big Deal, but This Researcher's Theory Explains Everything About How Americans Parent.," parents from all different cultures struggle with parental ethnotheories which can be described as society's belief in the right way to raise a child. Different is not necessarily less. When we take a look at the way Nora and Torvald raised their children, one can see the mother's fondness of her children yet the disconnection between the parents and the children as they depend on the nanny to raise these children. Regardless, Nora continues to buy her children the newest clothes and therefore, keep them supplied with what she considers the best for the best: her children. Children are a gift from God and should be cherished, loved, and told of their worth but there must be a limit to this self-indulgent attitude that breeds narcissism. By biggest concern is that people aren't thinking globally. Are we aware of the fact that what happened at Sandy Hook happens on a daily basis in many countries such as Syria? A child is a child no matter what background they come from. No child's life is more important that any other child's life. I desperately wish many parents could love their children with a humble love that recognizes that spoiling a child isn't love, but rather so, enjoying the time you've been given with them. So often, I think we believe that children are exempt from death and their death is unfair and yes, it does feel unfair but children as just as human as adults. We all have a limited amount of time on this earth. With that, we have to conclude, how will we raise out kids to make a positive difference? Will we teach them to love selflessly? I've seen this process go both ways so I know the potential is there.

    Nora, also known as songbird, decides to leave her family, including children as she experiences an awakening. This songbird, who once lived to please her husband, demonstrates the aspect of a Phoenix: dying in her beliefs and rising again as new to learn for herself. Was she wrong in her actions? Some would say yes, and others would say no. And that's the thing about parenting. It's so different across cultural divides. All parents are just trying to raise their children to the best of their ability when there's no perfect way to do so. Regardless, the way a child is reared WILL play a prominent role in that child's life. Is it worth having your child completely blend in with other kids to the point of sabotaging their ability to see others for who they are? I believe all cultures could learn a little something from each other in the case of parenting. I do hope that mothers decide not to play the role of Nora as runaway Barbie in the future though. Below are some very interesting articles I found and would like to share concerning child-rearing:

http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/editorial_opinion/oped/articles/2011/09/01/vigilance_or_obsession_child_safety_across_the_cultural_divide/

http://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2013/04/how-parents-around-the-world-describe-their-children-in-charts/274955/

Fences.

  I thoroughly enjoyed hearing all the different presentations and listening to Nikki Giovanni share some of her poems. It's so funny how different, yet at times similar, our mind processes the things we experience in life which also affects how we share these experiences and feelings that make up the aftermath of life as we live it. A month or so ago, we discussed a thing called synesthesia in class. I found it cool but gave it little thought after that. That evening during my discipleship group, my discipleship leader told me she learned about this synesthesia something and whether we knew of it and understood how it worked. So, she tested us. As soon as she said a letter, a color would immediately come to mind so I would tell her and we would discuss it in awe while another one of my friends would shake her head and call us crazy. What made it even more comical would be the reasonings we had for certain colors coming to mind with certain numbers, days of the weeks, months, letters, etc. Each of us had a unique color or connection that at times would make sense to us all and at others times, confuse us immensely. These are the things I believe poets write about. Poets such as Nikki Giovanni have lived life and made connections with various nouns, adjectives, and adverbs and use these words to describe a natural part of them or the way they see a portion of life itself. This takes bravery and imagination that is so easy to lose in life. I'll never forget the moment I realized I couldn't play with dolls anymore because my "imagination" had diminished from what it once was. But I guess that's life.

     I also enjoyed a neat point that Kristen brought up in her presentation. We all think about American culture and laugh at our ability to be anal, tolerant, and greedy to the point that we are considered offensive, immoral, and subject to idolatry. Don't get me wrong. I love being American most days but I can admit to my American tendencies being unhealthy. In Peru, where Peruvians don't tend to wear watches or be prompt for normal day activities, a watch became a major stumbling block for my entire American team. We are so accustomed to molding our actions around some numbers on a wrist that I believe we do lose hold of what our body really wants and needs. The same goes for many students who feel the pressure of parents and teachers telling them to be this and that without providing an opportunity for a student to determine their strengths, weaknesses, and passions before embarking towards a degree or major that might be somewhat fulfilling, but maybe not their ultimate strength. There's no perfection with any of this but information overload happens daily in our society and it is OVERWHELMING. I literally began to have a mini panic attack before finishing this last paragraph as I sat and thought over all that I need to finish in a month and the amount of information overload it would take to process and complete the majority of these objectives. 

Poetry by Nikki Giovanni

Poetry is motion graceful

as a fawn
gentle as a teardrop
strong like the eye
finding peace in a crowded room
we poets tend to think
our words are golden
though emotion speaks too
loudly to be defined
by silence
sometimes after midnight or just before
the dawn
we sit typewriter in hand
pulling loneliness around us
forgetting our lovers or children
who are sleeping
ignoring the weary wariness
of our own logic
to compose a poem
no one understands it
it never says love me for poets are
beyond love
it never says accept me for poems seek not
acceptance but controversy
it only says i am and therefore
i concede that you are too
a poem is pure energy
horizontally contained
between the mind
of the poet and the ear of the reader
if it does not sing discard the ear
for poetry is song
if it does not delight discard
the heart for poetry is joy
if it does not inform then close
off the brain for it is dead
if it cannot heed the insistent message
that life is precious
which is all we poets
wrapped in our loneliness
are trying to say

In this poem by Nikki Giovanni, I feel that she describes the frustration many college students feel in trying to compose a future for themselves. Instead of trying to follow the many paths are made before us, if only we could accept our individuality and take the path that is designed for us that we will prove the most useful taking. I'm not encouraging young adults to be flighty and not stick it out through the hardships of life, but if only we were more comfortable with discarding what doesn't delight and intrigue us, sought joy in what we did in the moment, and allow our mind to explore the information we find that sparks our interest and makes us critical thinkers naturally. 

So, I REALLY enjoyed Nikki Giovanni. Once she started talking, it was easy to pick up on her temperance and the type of person that she is as an artist. Her poems were hectic which is a perfect representation of life in my opinion. When you think about it, artists are funny people. Looking at Ai Weiwei for instance, would you imagine the mischief he is able to bring to China just by looking at him? Never imagined I would see him jumping in the air while nude and holding a stuffed cat. Definitely shows my limited thought. Artists are such a funny group of people. They say the things we are scared to say or simply don't know how to say. That's a gift. My mind doesn't always work in a way that people would look at my words or lyrics and say "That is art! That is unique! That is beauty!" Regardless. I'm thankful that those people exist and that people like Ai Weiwei are bold enough to take a stance against the things that are unknown to me just to make a difference. I might not completely agree with everything he says or does, but like a form of alter-ego of mine, I can and so desire to relate to him. He is an anti-hero of such.

Beauty and bodies

 Between Douglass, Faust and Baudelaire, there was extreme variety among writers and their preference of style and topic of interest which relied heavily on their surroundings and what they know from that. Out of these three men, Baudelaire did stand out the most to me. Once I began to to read his biography, I knew it was literature class after the first paragraph. Minus his critter-like appearance in our literature book, something about his writing style and background scream "intellectual and introspective bad boy that parents don't want you to bring home" and we all know how appealing that is. But in actuality, the variety of words and contrasting images Baudelaire sketched into his poetry are rather remarkable and although usually gruesome and morbid, intriguing nonetheless.

     One of the poems by Baudelaire that proved less gruesome yet very relatable was his poem "Hymn to Beauty." In this poem, Baudelaire questions human nature and our take on beauty. Where does beauty come from? Is is heavenly or evil? Why do we all endure some form of weakness when overcome by the beauty of another being? Ultimately, Baudelaire provides a list of questions and potential answers but all of this leads to inclusiveness. He provides no real answer to his many questions but rather so, leaves room for his readers to make their own decision concerning the matter. 

     Although the most morbid, "Carrion" might have been my favorite poem to read. The contrasting choice of words and clever usage makes the piece captivating. What I enjoy the most about this poem is the acknowledgement of death. Yes, death must be acknowledged by everyone at some point in time. Yes, death can be "depressing" to reflect on but if we sincerely took the rapid approach of death seriously wouldn't our lives differ? Baudelaire was a man that fought complacency and what better way to fight boredom and a standstill life lacking passion or motivation than death itself which is the end to everything. Once death grips you tight, you no longer have the opportunity to accomplish what you've desired to do for so long. There's one attempt at life to live passionately. When one considers the permanency of a physical death that Baudelaire so graciously describes in this poem, the uncontrollable stench, rotting corpse, and path taken to eventually be forgotten, it's easy to remember that we are all humans headed to the grave whether we like it or not. Personally, I use death to set my eyes and affections back where I believe they belong. I can't deny the fact that one day I will die and my body on this earth will wither away and one day no one not this earth will remember me. As much as this may hurt my pride, I know that all will be well. I also enjoyed the fact that Baudelaire had the nerve to compared the female companion with him in this poem to the corpse in that it will one day be her fate. Definitely not the most romantic of things to say but extremely accurate and truthful. This romantic love on earth and beauty will eventually be forgotten or eaten by worms so there is no real reason to fear or be "complacent." Of course, there will be people that find security in their "American Dream" or whose lives will reflect complacency when in actuality, they are fulfilling their calling at that moment in time. If we are defending our virtues or morals, then sometimes it is suitable to abstain from radical actions. As much as I enjoy the concept of people fighting complacency, without those people it wouldn't be nearly as easy for those who want to make a difference to do so in such a profound way in our capitalistic society. Is that a valid argument? To some, it probably is. 

This following is a poem on beauty. I LOVE slam poetry and found this poem. Although beauty can be pleasant to the eyes and comforting to the ego, a foundation founded on it that leads to comparison is indeed a dangerous and destructive thing. Also, there is an obscene word used at the end of the poem that I apologize ahead of time for.

http://youtu.be/M6wJl37N9C0


Baudelaire. He was a favorite of many in the class. I feel as though the majority of the class mentioned him at some point int their presentation. Even in casual talk, his arguments come alive in conversation as me and my roommate discuss the undeniable fact that we are aging and one day, our physical appearance will not be the same. The body is dying and as much as we fight the process, we know the destined ending for us all. So often, I though I would enjoy a guy that constantly spoke of my beauty and reminded me of how physically appealing I was but I've grown up a little and can finally be confident and desirable of a guy who is more in love with my heart's desires and internal make up rather than the fading physical features since beauty is fleeting. Beauty and self-esteem are a big deal to me since I see the weakness it bestows upon people; especially women. While at the gym the other day, I watched girl after girl step on the scale and step off with a face of dissatisfaction and disappointment. Watching this hurt me because I struggle with being in the same shoes. During a Tuesday night in honors Global Issues Forum, my group did a presentation on beauty and an extremely interesting fact about Africa stood out to me which I strongly desire to implement here at UNA. In Africa, there is a beauty contest where none of the contestants are allowed to wear make up. How awesome of a fundraiser and event would that be to host at UNA? SO many different directions to go with that concerning young ladies. Hopefully one day, this pageant can become something here. I am very excited to potentially head up such a cause.

No Scrub

Such a variety of interesting and controversial topics were touched on in class and readings these past few weeks. Between Olaudah Equiano and Mary Wollstonecraft alone, there are plenty of debatable and considerable arguments made. In the case of Equiano, I feel as though his story,"The Interesting Narrative of the Life of Olaudah Equiano" has either been under appreciated or forgotten just like that of Wollstonecraft simply because of the passage of time and the fact that "times are different." Now, I am not the type to beat a dead horse but I do think there is value in trying to comprehend the depth of man's shortcomings in the case of slavery and discrimination whether in regards to race or gender. As we become more aware of our hypocritical past mentalities, we are less likely to fall as deeply into destructive behavior of the sort but without correction as part of preventative methods, our past is capable of rearing its ugly head again and taking our minds and bodies captive. For example, how are Christians going to understand the depth of their past and current sin and our history of depravity as a human race unless we confirm the Old Testament? Now, if freedom from these sins come from recognition  of our wrongs and surrendering to Christ, it would make sense that acknowledging the past and working to fight that dark past is vital. Now how do Christians continue to fight sin? By remember the New Testament and the actions of Christ which set all believers free and provides them with power to overcome sin. A small glimpse of this freedom is seen in people re-acknowledging the past and continuing to battle that evil capacity within us which could be the allowance of sex-trafficking or discrimination by assuming stereotypes towards others. 

     Wollstonecraft was another author who revealed much through her "A Vindication of the Rights of Women." Her call to feminist rights through the destruction of a stereotype that was destroying the potential dreams of women around her stirred quite the reaction. Wollstonecraft was tired of seeing women around her succumb to this false personae as a woman who cares little for wisdom or intellectual matters, but is more concerned with appearance and attention from the males. I do agree that women should participate in intellectual matters and use their thoughts and intelligence towards the greater good, which for women, can be an easier mountain to overcome in dealing with interpersonal relationships. Hollywood has definitely continued to overdo the "ditziness" associated with many females but nowadays, can even overemphasize the independent and selfish mentality of a woman to serve herself and no other. All human beings are called to service whether they desire it or not. Women and men serve one another in some capacity daily whether they are aware of it or not. Reading this writing did remind me of information and research shared with my Honors Global Issues class from Dr. Bullard. According to Margaret Mead in her studies of the Tchumbuli people, the typical gender roles are reversed. What does this mean? Women are the hunters who don't see men as peers but inferior. They tend to take on a more rugged appearance with little regard to pleasing a man visually. On the other hand, men are the ones who desire to dress up and adorn themselves so that they may gain the interest of women when they aren't being the gatherers for their tribes. To me, this is an extremely odd and demonstrates just how far humans can wander off the path. I do believe that men are physically the stronger vessel but just like women, are made in the image of God and saved by the same grace. We are all given different gifts but in my own circumstance, I prefer to use my gift to form meaningful relationships with others by serving and loving them. I have no problem with womanly duties or working a full-time job but I do have a problem with a guy who does not consider his family to be his job to care for. In the words of TLC, "I don't want no scrub."

     In conclusion, I would like to end with a song by my favorite band. I have a feeling I have posted this song before but once more, it relates so well to my thought process while going over the struggles of Frederick Douglass as a slave to a freed man. Douglass spoke of how he felt chosen to represent and stand up for his brothers and sisters who were daily being born and dying into a world of slavery. People like Douglass, Abraham Lincoln, and Martin Luther King, Jr. found their callings and toiled daily in order to provide a better life for those that they would never meet in the future. Yet as satisfying as it may seem to toil, it is pointless without a calling. Someone can't be called unless someone is calling them. In the instance of Martin Luther King, Jr., Equiano, and Douglass, these men were called by God according to their views and I agree. The legacy and change that was brought wasn't possible with the help of just these few men alone. It took a much greater being to call them and help them fulfill that calling.

Interesting enough, the band above, Company of Thieves, is currently setting aside the band as Genevieve Schatz, the co-foudner and lead singer of the band, tours and performs some solo material. I am extremely excited about hearing what she has to bring. Regardless, it is quite the change. CHANGE. It's a scary yet comforting thing. I am extremely excited about new classes next semester serving as Vice President for my sorority and being one step closer to studying abroad in Spain yet I loathe the idea of close friends graduating and not see my honors family daily. I'm also despising the fact that I will more than likely be quitting my current job and applying for a new one. An inspirational young woman by the name of Corinne Bailey Rae once said in her hit single Put Your Records On "The more things seem to change, the more things stay the same. Oh, don't you think it's strange?" It took awhile to make sense but it most definitely does now since I've been in college. Looking at Equiano Douglass, and Wollstonecraft, I imagine they even felt the same way as they fought for freedom and equality among difference minority and ill-represented groups. Change is inevitable. Aging is inevitable. We aren't capable of stopping time. These means that we will either constantly be shocked and molded by the never ceasing change in our lives or become immune to the natural shock that comes with it. We choose.

     These past couple of weeks, we have focused on Jonathan Swift, Francois-Marie Arouet de Voltaire as well as Jean-Jacques Rousseau. Each of these meshed together various concepts floating around the globe and as philosophers, wisely crafted their own perceptions and conclusions concerning philosophical matters together into stories that have retained their popularity for some time now. Out of all of these authors and stories, the two that stood out the most to me were Voltaire and Rousseau. 

     Voltaire's "Candide" gave me a crick in my neck from all the moments where dialogue that was exchanged called for nothing but a simple shaking of the head. Yes. A bit extreme at times but definitely a true representation of how people still think today. I'm not completely opposed to the words of Pangloss or completely for them since there was truth spoken by each and every character presented by Voltaire. Candide, which can also be defined as optimism, reminds me of what American culture believes they would like to see in citizens. Why is that? Candide reveals an overwhelming sense of tolerance, open-mindedness, and optimism. Who wouldn't want to be patient and capable of dealing with the scenarios and opposition thrown at them? Who wouldn't want to be sincerely open-minded and respectful towards varying perspectives? Who wouldn't want to be considered a optimistic person rather than a pessimist who can only see the glade half empty? If there's no room for positive change or outlook, then how can we expect a positive progression? 

     Pococurante is another interesting character in Voltaire's story. This character appears to find no satisfaction in any of his possessions but seems to desire better, more, or has given up completely in there being any satisfaction in certain areas of life. It's super easy to laugh at Pococurante's ways or ridicule his greedy habits but how guilty are we as humans of this exact same thing? We may say it isn't true but our hearts do seem to think that bigger is always better. Is there true joy in being above everything? What happens once you've reached the top or capped out? Is there an everlasting satisfaction or a temporary happiness that slowly dwindles into discontentment from not having anything less to conquer? Are the richest people actually happy? Is there true contentment in a world that desires and builds bigger and better things that work as a catalyst for our greed? Pococurante did not seem satisfied or content with what we had but he definitely appeared demeaning and prideful towards those that believed in contrast to his thoughts and opinions. It's funny because that appears to be the normal human reaction when we feel that we are above something or extremely well versed into particular aspects of life. Pride. It's a dangerous thing.

Pride: a high or inordinate opinion of one's own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in bearing, conduct, etc.

     A correlation that stuck out to me the most was at the very end of the story when the final purpose of life seemed to surround "cultivation" and nothing more or less. For some reason, a bible verse came to mind:

"For as the body apart from the spirit is dead, so also faith apart from works is dead." James 2:26

     Faith apart from works is dead. I believe this could be what's missing in the lives of many. They live and cultivate but without any real purpose or motivation except that it may seem like the right thing to do or in the case of Candid, being told it's what you should and must do, no ifs, ands, or buts about it. What is the point of cultivation without purpose? What is expected to come from this sort of lifestyle? Disappointment maybe but otherwise, I believe there is an emptiness and feeling of ignorance that comes with working frivolously without purpose. Of course, we can learn to be content with this feeling and live and be merry for today for tomorrow we die. Will this change the final outcome of life? No, but for some people, truly living for something bigger than themselves without regards for themselves requires to much of a lack of interest in one's self.

     As I mentioned earlier, Rousseau was another interesting author to me. This could be because I could definitely see him being an INFJ but a hippy INFJ which is type of person I've never met before. Rousseau's imitations of St. Augustine's confessions in order to simply share and keep himself known (in my opinion) just makes me laugh a bit. His brutal honest about certain occasions makes me laugh. I love the honesty concerning his past loves, first experiences and understandings of his sexual nature, and more than that, his connection he had with family members that seems far stronger than most bonds between a boy his age and anyone. Rousseau was an extremely sensitive child. I believe he was an INFJ. Regardless of his Myers-Briggs type, Rousseau demonstrated a trait within all people that we either acknowledge or refuse to see because we are "too busy keeping it real."

    Rousseau reveals the dueling nature found within people as we fight for good when it seems we naturally feel like we are leaning towards doing bad. Rousseau's honesty about his struggles and embarrassing/slight inappropriate moments that he uses to try and truthfully represent his struggle with life. The way in which Rousseau wrote demonstrates his desire for individuality and chance to express himself with others. My obsession with his bravery in this probably originates from the fact that being truthful with about ourselves with ourselves and those around us is difficult and can be extremely uncomfortable for others. I'm beginning to experience the freedom of true and unbound thought sharing through my journal. After traveling to Peru, I became fond of journaling and feel that I can be most transparent with my thoughts to God when written out. Maybe this is what Rousseau felt as well. That writing out his thoughts gave him freedom, comfort, and assurance that he was being real with himself (for the most part). Overall, I think honesty stands out the most in theses pieces whether it's sincere or completely false. In life, we are constantly struggling to be honest with ourselves but more than that honest with others. We struggle with both because we want to please those around us as well as preserve our pride. Honesty will forever be a struggle of man.

"Pretty much all the honest truth telling there is in the world is done by children." Oliver Wendell Holmes

After doing a presentation of Baudelaire and Voltaire, I felt the need to emphasize pride and the dangers and failures that come along with that mentality. Only in pride, can we declare "our feelings are hurt!" because in actuality, there's no such thing. The only thing that hurts is our pride. After speaking on the sincerity and openness found in Rousseau's writings. This semester, I've had the opportunity to share my testimony with numerous people and what a relief and struggle all in one to lay out my history and present whether it's good, bad, or ugly. There is a freedom and a weight that is lifted in confessing to others our everyday interactions that mean the most to us. More than that, it means much to have a listener. Someone who actually hears you is better than that. From this blog, I can say that Candide has challenged me to know myself better and what I believe and why to a greater extent. To argue with others? Not necessarily. I simply desire the peace that comes with a solid foundation that gives me peace to believe in and live according to.

"You CAN always get what you want!"

     Out of all of the stories we have read so far, each story has shocked me in some way in that whether while I was reading the story or it was being discussed, something clicked or stood out to me immensely. Two of these pieces that stuck out to me the most were "Gift of the Magi" by O. Henry and "The Mural" by Pu Song-Ling. Although from different places, all characters endure a similar experience. In the "Gift of the Magi" as well as "The Mural," there's a great sense of desire and want that aligns with what young Chu in "The Mural" says about "Illusion starting in the mind." Indeed, Mrs Della Dillingham convinces herself that she must provide her husband with a gift that costs more than she can actually afford. She cuts off her most treasured possession, her hair, to provide what she considers to be a worthy gift for her own satisfaction but ultimately, to the satisfaction of her husband. The same goes for Chu who despite pursuing self-control daily, falls to lust and ultimately, what Christians would refer to as sexual immorality. In each situation, desire to please someone or one's self leads to actions that didn't end quite as desired. In "Gift of the Magi," both parties did experience an "Aha!" moment in their actions and learned from their actions while Chu seemed to gain no "enlightenment," just fear. So, what does all of this mean to me? It reminds me of how human nature's innate desire, that must be challenged and fought most often, is to satisfy one's self solely. We are creatures that want this and want that and in American society where media portrays and feeds these desires frequently, many Americans don't understand the problem or need to at times, fight out self-satisfying desires. The grass isn't always greener on the other side. I think it's best to always check one's motives and whether or not giving into our desires will be a refreshing event, a potential "Aha!" moment, or leave us ashamed and fearful hiding under our beds. 

     As a struggling single college student, I can jokingly reflect on my last high school relationship that lasted on and off somewhere between 8th grade and 10th grade when money was not easy to come by (but in actuality was) when Christmas was near and money was scarce. Although the current boyfriend and I at the time wanted to give each other something special for Christmas, we decided against it and did not attempt any "Gift of the Magi" type thing. He would eventually make up for the lack of gifts by spoiling me on Valentine's day. High school relationships are the best. What's better than high school relationships? Sesame Street. Enjoy!

http://youtu.be/o2VFgHGKzx4


     Reading back on this post, "The Gift of the Magi" stands out to me the post at this point in life. Why? Because I can't help but recall Elizabeth's presentation on this story and how heartfelt and sincere her excitement was to share her feelings on the peace. I believe the obsession with this piece may stem from the shameless and self-sacrificial love so evidently displayed between the young couple as they go out of their way to please one another. I recently attended a dear friend's wedding where many married people spoke up at the wedding and encouraged and warned the new Godly couple about the hardships to come and the importance in being submissive to one another and willing to serve, even when that's the last thing you desire to do. After working at Pine Cove, I've come to realize that the answer to most of life's questions can be found in service. When at Pine Cove, my mentality is completely service-minded and in those moments, I am most content with life because I'm not spending time thinking about myself and therefore, allowing myself the time to brainstorm more and more things that would make me temporarily happy. If I could live life in that kind of mindset more often, a mindset where I am passionately enthralled with serving others and pleasing my Lord Jesus Christ, it would be much easier for me to find peace in everyday life.